Category Archives: gender identity

The Blade Reboot


Very soon, or not so long ago, in either this universe or an adjacent one, Hollywood will green-light the production of a Blade reboot fitting for a generation that demands fan service. The following details are what I have managed to glean during my time in The Ether*:

In the opening scene, Blade will sneak into a studio, where a Trump-figure is giving a speech to a lone camera, and cleave the head of the Commander in Chief clear off his body. After which, Blade will utter something to the effect of, “four years of this shit is just too long”, right before kicking him off the dais. A brief fight will take place, where Blade will slice up the president’s human body guards until he is confronted by vampire secret service, which will lead in an elaborate chase scene where Blade will demonstrate his ability to run off of walls, and parkour off of buildings, as he tries to make a daring escape.

And just before he gets caught, an ally will swerve into his path and tell him to get in. (This is where Whistler is introduced.) Blade’s reaction will be something like, “you?”, to which Whistler will reply “you were expecting a grizzly biker dude? This is Thanksgiving ’07 all over again; get in”, (Typical of Hollywood trends, Whistler will be portrayed be a woman.) Blade will ask her how she knew how to find him, and she’ll indicate that it’s all over the news. Then she’ll ask what that was all about, and Blade will say something like, “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.” Whistler will just stare at him awkwardly and inquisitively. And Blade will reply, “and you know the rest”.

Later, Blade will go on to explain that Trump-figure was just a puppet; a part of a larger scheme, and that something more sinister is going on in our government, though just what that is will require more digging.

We will learn, that the U.S. government has been infiltrated and is being manipulated by a shadow government, composed of an elitist coven of ultra-fair-skinned vampires, and that they’re using religion to justify congress passing sweeping legislation that would ban the practice of abortion. Blade will comment about how the true purpose of organised religion has always been to manipulate the feeble-minded public.

We’ll come to learn that the abortion ban is a crucial step in a conspiracy to force women to unwittingly carry vampire spawn to term. Like Blade, these vampires be all be immune to the sun, yet a few experimental others will have been given genetic enhancements by their obstetricians during routine checkups. And, of course, none of the mothers would survive child birth. This tugs at Blade’s heartstrings, because he knows that his mother bore him at a time when women hadn’t yet won the right to choose.

Later, details of the locations of key facilities involved in the conspiracy are revealed, including that of the chief scientist overseeing the development of vampire spawn. Whistler will break into this facility and confront the chief scientist, andsay “I thought you scientists were supposed to be objective, seeing things more clearly; why are you doing this?” And the chief scientist (a female, and her equal) will say something like, “don’t you know that all lives matter?” And whistler will respond with, “that doesn’t apply to parasites” right before bashing up cylinders and petri dishes filled with zygotes and foetuses and various other experiments—absolutely wrecking the lab—until the scientist loses her temper and tries to strangle the vigilante. The scene ends with her dead, and the fate of Whistler uncertain.

Later, when Blade confronts the elitist vampires, they’ll talk about how they are ushering in a new age he should be on their side, as vampires are clearly the superior race. Blade will respond with something like, “every tyrant thinks he’s better than his predecessors, and that he’s offering something new to his people, but it’s always the same story. And now I find myself, once again, in the uncomfortable position of having to water the Tree of Liberty”. The leader of the elitists will quip, “history is written by the victors”, and Blade will respond with, “we’ll see about that”.

He’ll then begin to eliminate the elitist vampires, even as they try to overwhelm him with their numbers; yet using superhuman moves never before demonstrated outside of video games, he will overcome them. And then, when it comes down to the very last vampire, he’ll say something like, “It’s true what they say: history repeating itself. But this generation, it’s not going to put up with that kind of shit anymore,” before landing the killing blow.

*often, while engaged in activities that involve water, my mind slips into a realm where all ideas (past, present, and future) litter a river of collective thought known as The Ether.


Straw Man


Many have asked me: “What is your obsession with context and the bigger picture? Why does it matter why we think the way they think? Why do we need to know why we’re right and they’re wrong? Shouldn’t just being right be enough?”

Well the answer is simple:

My biggest problem is that sometimes we join the right side, or arrive at the right conclusions, for all the wrong reasons. And to me, that’s tantamount to working for the other side, because it ultimately leaves us vulnerable to the opposition: either by our inability to formulate a solid argument in our defense, or by our incredibility as a witness.

And this does happen to us, mind you, time and time again: The weakest among us are often selected as straw men by major networks, easily knocked down by tactically chosen, well-paid, veritable bulldogs on national television.

No, if we truly wish to be positive witnesses, it should be to educate ourselves as much as possible in those things that we openly admit we believe in. And if not, it is better that we should bite our tongues, lest someone call us out on the subject—whereby we would betray not only ourselves, but also our beliefs and those that share them.

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Many of us have made the mistake of believing that just because we have  discovered that there is a possibility (a plausible theory) that explains why we are the way we are, this somehow validates us, as if it were true.

The truth is, plausibility is not tantamount to empirical evidence. Maybe we are and we aren’t born that way. But to act as if a plausibility is true is, consequently, fallacious. So while a theory may have come about through scientific means, citing it as if it were empirical evidence is not scientific at all. Yet this is the same fallacy we find in those following organised religion.

To put it plainly: It’s nothing more than hope rolled up into a tangled ball of a faith that either cannot be proved, or we do not want to be proven. Because, in the end, we’re not searching for answers, we’re searching for excuses. But my words alone won’t keep you from searching, nonetheless. That’s how you came across my blog in first place — isn’t it?

So as long as you are going to be searching for a rhyme or a reason that explains why you are the why you are, perhaps you can take a bit advice with you before you go:  For every answer, every explanation that you come across in your search, take them all (or at least most of them) with a grain of salt. But in the meanwhile, ask yourself this: Do I really need to come up with an explanation to be myself? To excuse myself? Or what will it take for me to just be?

Sometimes it’s when you stop looking that the answer reveals itself.

(this article is in response to those of within LGBT community who cite various theories for why we may be born this way, yet treat them as fact)

See also:

Actors Versus Models


Keanu Reeves is a bad actor and we all know it. I know, it’s not really news, but I needed a good reference point, because the same can be said of most of Hollywood.

And over the years I’ve found I have come to prefer those with less experience over the big named actors, because they are not yet set in their ways, and tend to feel out more of their roles than the seasoned actors do.

After a while it just becomes routine — and it should NEVER be routine. Each role is a new life, a new backstory, a new set of experiences. But we, the audience fall in love with characters the same way we fall in love with our partners. And we look for our old lovers in the faces of our new ones, and secretly hold the same expectations.

“You don’t love me — you love her!”
“My God, we could be twins!”
“I am not going to become her just so that you can play out your sick, perverted fantasy!”

You don’t love Jennifer Aniston, you love the girl you grew up with in Friends. You don’t love Sweeney Todd, you love that tragic boy you had a crush on in Edward Scissorhands. You don’t love Matt Damon, you love that rogue agent, Jason Bourne. You don’t love Ashton Kutcher, you love  that precious dork, Kelso, from That 70’s Show. Al Pacino isn’t Tony Montana, but you always want him to be.

So yes, it’s come to the point where so many of us have come to expect them to play the same part over and over again; and they often oblige. Ultimately, they are still just members of the Entertainment Industry, and whatever entertains us makes them money. So why wouldn’t they go along with it? It’s good business sense when you come down to it. But it’s not art.

Art is living. Art is evolving. Art is a river, not a pond. Art is always asking the questions of how and why? Yet never satisfied with the answer. So up to a point, all the big named actors are artists. But only to the point just before their product becomes a formula. Everything after that is merely modeling.

So I choose art. How about you?

What’s In A Name?


So I know a lot of my readers are transgender — big surprise, I am too! — and that’s awesome. And transitioning doesn’t just mean changing our clothes and outward behaviours. It’s a fucking overhaul — if you’ll excuse my colourful language — which means tearing down a shitty structure that literally took years to build. We all were against this project pretty much from its inception, and thusly half-assed it along the way. But somehow, our superiours and peers managed to get us to erect something that actually took a bit of work — if only reluctantly so — which stood up until we finally had that moment of Zen; that fuck it moment. And so, here we are tearing it all down, piece by piece, brick by brick. Never minding how much, or if any of it could be salvaged. We’ll have time to sort through all of that later.

So we put up our scaffolds and tear everything down, while we try to quickly put something else up instead. It’s very messy, and poorly planned — but hey, we don’t have time anymore! It’s now or never. And if never, then I fucking quit! You all know what I mean, of course.

So like all good projects, we put out a sign for everyone to see what’s in progress. Kinda like, “future site of the Hallmark Plaza Center” or “Barnes and Noble coming to your neighborhood!” or something like that. But it’s ad hoc, and who knows how long we’ll keep it. It’ll do for now. But when we do finally settle on a name, whatever we wanna call this new project, we take time in choosing it. Now I don’t know about you, but my parents took an awful lot of time and care in choosing my old name. And while I loathe hearing it, I appreciated the sentiment, and thus have taken equal care in choosing a new name or, rather, names. I changed all of them, actually. Didn’t even keep the family name.

You see, when I came out, and first told everyone about the transition, the first questions from everyone were about bathroom privileges, gender pronouns, and what the Hell my new name was gonna be! And I didn’t know just where it would fit in, I just knew that I was meant to be called Argiope. Pronounced properly, Ar -jye (or a soft G) -oh -pee, it was the name, I discovered, from a very intimidating, yet marvelous spider I once came across in Texas. Argiope. It just fit fit. But where?

I considered Argiope Dionysus — to stick with the whole Grecco-Roman thing. Wilfred, Wendy, something feminine or at least androgynous starting with a “W”. W-Argiope-Hager? Hager was my last name; W-A-H were my old initials. And I really liked those initials because they were symmetrical and part of an old monogram I once came up with. Jeez!

So finally, I settled on Jadis Illiana Argiope. Jadis, being the name of the White Witch, The Queen in the Chronicles of Narnia. I took this name in honour of my mother. Illiana, being a name that my closest sister and I came up with many years ago, determined to be among the most beautiful sounding names a woman could have. And Argiope, mostly because it just fit, but the attraction to it can be accredited to my father because of the arachnofilia and the love of strange things he inspired in me and my younger siblings as a child. And so, I consider all three to be in honour and devotion to my Mother, Sister, and Father, all in ascending order.

That being said, I’ve always had a curiosity with names. They have meaning. And not just the personal qualities we give them, or the people we associate them with. Ultimately, every name is, or is derived from, a word. And  from those words can be derived an even greater meaning. For me, my first name, my old name, translated to The Advancing Wolf; a name that implied a sense of cunning. My middle name was the name of either a Viso- or Ostro-Goth chieftain or something like that, and meant King of All Things. My last name, I honestly don’t really know. But with what I had, together it inspired a mock-up foreshadowing, and delusions of grandeur. Needless to say, even though it didn’t quite seem to fit, what I found attractive about it was a fantasy that I might one day get to grasp the world; to know and to keep, if just for a little while. Feelings inspiring dreams of control and power. A world that never made sense to me, that I might one day get have the privilege to give it order; mine.

But my new names, my REAL names — the names that fit — tell a completely different story. On and off I’ve Googled their origins and, over time, more information has been made available to piece it all together. I now know the histories and possible meanings of my names. And now, I believe I am satisfied enough to extrapolate, and formulate a whole new set of holistic meanings, explanations, and predictions. It’s almost as satisfying as discovering one’s cosmic — or, at least geocentric — purpose or possible future. Almost. Definitely something to strive for.

So what have I arrived with? Well, let’s looks at what I have:

Jadis 1. In french, it is a word that means former or once, as in du temps jadis or once upon a time.

2. Adopted by C.S. Lewis as the name of the White Witch in the Chronicles of Narnia, thought to have been adopted from the Turkish word for witch.

Illiana 1. Variant of the Greek Iliana, meaning Trojan.
2. Variant of the Hebrew Eliana, meaning The Lord Has Responded.

Argiope 1. Greek and Latin meaning Of the Silver Face, referring to the mountain from which the nymph of this name dwelt. The mountain, believed to be that of Mount Parnassos.

So here is what I’ve actually come up with:

The Former Trojan of Mount Parnassos

Rather cryptic, don’t you think? It has an heir of inescapable mystery, one cannot deny. Now, I can look into this as an insight into a past life; a clue to the life of a spirit who once lived a unique, yet not so different life as my own. I can also look at it as a foreshadowing of things to come. Ultimately, as a gamer —  if you read that one blog not too long ago — I can look at this as both my character’s class and backstory. Personally, I’ve always come to think of the derived meanings of our names as possible standards to live by. In any event, it’s all just fascinating enough to enter into the journal that is my blog. Which I am pleased to share with you all here, today.
Now before I go, as a fun exercise, I’d like to ask you all this: Can you tell a story with your name?

If you have three or more names (first, middle and last), it makes it that much easier to create an elaborate story from merely the origin and meaning of your names.

Take your time. Expect to do a lot of reading. Also, don’t expect the story to come out as clearly as mine. You might find yours is more of a question than a statement. If so, pursue that, and follow it wherever it takes you. It’s okay if it’s abstract. It could be the answer to riddles so perplexing as to just why a raven is like a writing desk. The story might not even manifest until after you’ve pursued the meaning of the riddle. If so, perhaps that’s a journey worth blogging about too?

Whatever you find, don’t keep it to yourself. Send me a link, or share your answers in the comments below!
Until next time,

Thanks for reading!

References: Warning, if you have arachnophobia, please don’t click on the last link or, at least, don’t say I didn’t warn you? 


Watching a Deep Space Nine marathon via Netflix and guess what…*in a sin-song voice* I remembered where I got my middle name from:

I first heard it here. So I have Star Trek to thank for it. =)