Category Archives: Contraindications

Red-Pilled

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I will never forget the day I was red-pilled.

Initially I took the blue pill, but the antibiotics I was on rendered it inert. So like, after an hour of awkward silence, just sitting there in front of Morpheus and his posse, waiting to zonk out and wake up in my bed, he offered me the red pill a second time and I was like, “sure, let’s give it a shot”.

I think it was tequila—though it may have been absinthe, now that I think about it—that he poured for us both. And as we clinked glasses, I popped the red pill, chased it with the tequila, and then I quickly followed after it.

Two days later, I woke up hung-over, and batting away invisible sentinels. To this day, I still can’t look into a mirror without having flashbacks.

#IfMatrixPillsCameWithContraindications

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