Monthly Archives: October 2012

Depending On Your Answer

Standard

The following is a sample of what I am offering. As transgendered woman living in the wrong gender role, I attempted to serve the U.S. Air Force. This is a glimpse into that part of my life. Please be sure to contribute your vote after you’ve finished reading the text?

It all started shortly after arriving at my first tech school. The last six and a half weeks of basic training (B.T.) was a whirlwind of sheer and utter Hell. Every aspect of my life was challenged, as they beat my sense of individuality into submission. I was no longer a person, but a soldier. But now, after only a couple of days, B.T. was a quickly fading memory. Like waking from a hot and formidable nightmare, with each passing hour, the details of it were quickly blurring into subconscious oblivion. Tech school was still stressful, mind you; but, at least, now I could breathe a little more easily.

Needless to say, this change of pace afforded me a luxury that wasn’t available until then: reflection.  And so, after taking a good, long look in the mirror, I began to assess the changes made to this body. And what I saw was a monster; a freak. Naturally, I immediately began to break down. It wasn’t me. I didn’t know who or what it was I was looking at in the mirror, but it surely wasn’t the slender, effeminate being that I knew. Where once there was soft, fair skin, now was coarse, dirty brown leather. Where before there were skinny curves, now there was a bulk of fat and muscle — even in places I never even knew existed! This was something remarkably alien and repulsive, and it scared me. Frightened and angry, I wanted to shed my skin so badly, if only there was a way.  It was then and there that I knew just who I was, and what I wasn’t, and what needed to be done. I would  fight every step of the way to undo all the changes that overcame this body over the last six weeks, or die trying.