Bitches Britches®

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I think it’s high time the designers in New York and L.A. came out with a new fad in men’s fashion.

Suffice it to say, I’m bored with men’s boxers, as they are. Sure they look great. They’ve got those sexy labels around the waistband. And that oh-so-soft feel to the touch! And those lovely wrinkles that unfold when they spill out of their denim cage that just makes you wanna grab those buns and . . . . mmm-mm!

But you know, there’s still just something missing . . . .

I’ve got it! They’re just too. Damned. Silent. It’s missing that . . . .  Man Crunch!

Ladies, you know what I mean. When your Alpha-male pulls up a chair, he wants everyone in the room to know he’s ready to do business. That’s why I’ve envisioned a new trend in male underwear.

We’ll call them “Bitches Britches®” (or B.B.’s for short), and male icons everywhere will be donning their B.B.’s proudly.

Made of an innovative blend of cotton, polyester and synthetic fibers, this super absorbent design uses capillary action to wick moisture away, maximizing dryness — even through the heaviest of workouts!

Every time your man slips on a fresh pair of B.B.’s, they’ll deliver that classic, crisp, crinkly sound — so you’ll know he’s fresh!

With these bad boys on, he’ll be confident around you, and the envy of his crew!

And for those hot, ravenous, anticipatory nights, they even come with sexy Velcro® waist fasteners for easy removal — so just as quickly as he puts them on, you’ll be ripping them off!

Go get ’em Tigress! Rrrreeow!

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