Dear Diary….

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Dear Diary:

I saw that floating carrot again, today. This time it was just barely out of reach! Next time…I’m sure I’ll get it!

Sincerely,

Ellie J. Aston

PS: I’m back on the pill again, and that means less time stressing over PMS and more time to stress over the important things in life. Like work. Score one for efficiency! I am sooooo getting that promotion!

PPS: I’m on a new pill for anxiety (it’s Alprazollo or Alprazallom — anyway, it’s Xanax) so no more panic attacks during the bi-weekly meetings. Again, score another for efficiency! =D

PPPS: Oh, also, work just hired four new interns — all Paki’s! What the fluff?! Do you think they’re trying to outsource us?

PPPPS: So it turns out the Xanax makes me really drowsy. Fortunately for me, my doctor also has me on these new diet pills, and they totally work! I mean, they boost energy levels, increase concentration, they’re like some kind of wonder drug! God, these are so effective, I’m surprised they aren’t illegal!

PPPPPS: Alright, that last post-post-post script entry has me worried now, and I’ve been up all night thinking about it. What if I do lose my job to these….these…..immigrants? Do you think they’re even here legally? They barely even speak English! I just finished the last ten of my Xanax — what am I going to do?

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11 responses »

  1. Pingback: Dear Diary: 17th/19th January 2006 « Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars

  2. Ahh, what a relief. I didn’t know American girls took so much medicine. I thought it was more a thing of American parents, specially soccer moms.

  3. Are you sure it’s good to be taking so many medicines, girl ? I also have some psychological problems but I am hesitant and scared of taking medicines. They mess with your mind and with who you are.

    • Thank you for your concern, Felipe. No, it is not wise to take so many pills at once. However, this is a work of fiction. The girl writing the diary could be any American girl. This article is intended to reflect the modern American condition.

  4. Only a joke. That would definitely open your blog to people who are searching Scorpions on Google. The rest, I was simply amused, because despite your tags, your post had little to do with lemmings and elephants.
    But if we don’t laugh at simply things we must as well just bang our heads on the walls when we touch the complicated things.

    • True. But it does have something to do with lemmings insomuch as it refers to sheeple: Sheep-like people who follow without question. Elephant and donkey in the tags refer to the mascots of Democrats and Republicans. In other words, Americans. We follow without question. We vote without question. We are obedient servants to our corporate masters. For us, there is no purpose but servitude — or so the elite would believe.

      • That’s true for any democratic society, not just for Americans. It draws its roots from ancient Athens, from the very beginning of democracy. Back then, people had freedom but they didn’t know what to do with it. And those who did, used it to manipulate those who didn’t.

  5. As Maddox once said, “you’re safe from immigrants as long as you don’t go to malls or parking lots”:

    Maybe they don’t all speak english, but some might be better at handling an elephant with a carrot on the stick. Some might even be lemmings acting for no rewards. (This should at least help you have the post easy to find with some of those tags).

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