Monthly Archives: May 2011

An Indecent Proposal

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Better yet, how about the title:

TREASON IN THE NAME OF SANITY

And all with a few questions leading toward one treacherous proposal…..

Q. 1) If America were to lose territory to an invading nation (God forbid), would it still be indebted to other nations?

A.) Yes.

Q. 2) And if America were to lose all of the territory of the western and midwestern states, and be reduced to the east coast, would it still be obliged to pay these debts?

A.) Yes.

Q. 3) Then I propose to you: If America were reduced to the state of Rhode Island –all of the other states thus being under a new political identity –what then would become of our international debt?

A.) ? ? ?

The United States of America is “One Nation, Indivisible….” yet it does no longer guarantee the same rights and freedoms as it once did. A grave trade-off has taken place. And where the gains may be adequate, the losses have been grossly under-appreciated.

That said, it has lost its identity. America of today is not the America founded by our forefathers. To the contrary, it is entirely alien to the principles and ideals that once set us apart from all other nations. And it is time for that part of her that still remains to wake up, remember, and react to the cancer she has contracted.

“And if your hand — even your stronger hand — causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” – Matthew 5:30, New Living Translation

Amen, brother!

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My Thoughts On An Angry God

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My God is not like your God, or their God.

My God does not punish us, or exact wrath or revenge. Or, at least, not directly so. Merely, he holds the world in his gaze, and give us grace. And when he takes his eyes off of us, we are vulnerable to the evils of men, with no higher power to look after us and protect us.

For it is the freedom of choice that betrays us. We are not puppets, and we are free to do good, or evil. And when left unto ourselves, without inspiration or guidance of the living Force that is the Holy Spirit, we succumb to the momentum of the extremes, and are thus thrown off-kilter, and into darkness.

And, at this very moment, we are doing just that. And the world gets darker by the day. A purple haze fills the air, blotting out the sun, and the mirrors are set up, and our eyes adjust as we focus at the stage set before us.

Aperture Science

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Aperture Science

By Jadis Argiope

[Inspired by former Aperture Laboratories CEO, Cave Johnson]

Fart: A gaseous product of decaying fecal matter.

In layman’s terms:  The terd’s just falling apart. It’s breaking down; lacking in preservatives. 

Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it up to here with those, occasionally audible, often smelly, nuisances.

Now I know what you’re thinking, and I’m way ahead of you. We already put tons of preservatives in our bodies every day; it’s not just in our food, it is our food, and it’s still not enough. So if it’s not working from that end, then how do we get it far enough up our butts as to be effective?

The solution: Turn the body into its own preservative-making factory. How’s that for thinking outside the box?

So far, preliminary studies are delivering excellent results. And the only observable side effect lies not among our living, but deceased study participants:

Just hours after passing, their bodies seem to mysteriously reanimate themselves into something of a super-position of both living and dead. We’ve come to call it “Schroedinger’s Syndrome,” and it occurs in only one- out- of- eleven participants. They’re mostly docile, but some have demonstrated to have an incurable appetite for human flesh.

Stool samples have, however, confirmed that the therapy is a lasting success, as there is no detectable odour, so that’s a plus. And although we now have a lab full of flesh-hungry zombies, at least we know that the condition is non-transmittable through human contact or fluid transmission, such as handshaking, kissing, biting or exposure to open sores. We just have to figure out what to do with them now. Free labour? Your guess is as good as mine.

But in the meanwhile, I’m not writing this off as a loss just yet. We can still turn this one around. I don’t call these kinds of discoveries set-backs, I like to think of them as opportunities! We could be on to something bigger than fart suppressants here! I mean, who among us doesn’t want eternal life, right?

Ponder This, If You Will

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Assuming the Angels took part in the construction of the universe, under the direction of God….

“And Lord said, ‘Let there be Light!’ And there was light.”

Eons later, to Lucifer’s misery, the sun still shines, the stars still glow, and the grass still grows; and thus man continues to thrive. And now he contrives to turn his invention, his blessing, into a curse. We, of course, call this: Global Warming.