Monthly Archives: April 2011

Four20: How To Rid A Nation Of A Gateway Drug

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Is your nation tired, apathetic, or otherwise constantly lithargic?

Do you ever feel the need to just wake it up out its daze from all of the “purple haze?”

Do you desire to rid your nation of the pandemic that is cannabis abuse?

Well here’s how, in just a few easy steps:

•Make it legal

    Substances are much less attractive (especially to minors) when the taboo is lifted

•Undercut the black market and sell it at a competitive price

The heart of drug use lies underground — cut it out with cut-throat capitalism.

•Infiltrate all marijuana crops on the street with GMO’s

     Anywhere a patented gene goes, the company that owns that patent is required due royalties from the farmer/grower. And that means anyone caught growing marijuana won’t have to worry about drug charges, but they will have to answer to corporate lawyers, if not also the IRS.

     For this to be successful, such genetically modified plants must bear a visible marker in order for officials to quickly identify them.

     In addition, as incentive for this, these GMO’s can be modified to produce more THC, for a greater, more sustained high, thus making it more attractive to black market entrepreneurs.

     Moreover, to supplement this approach, it would be within the medical marijuana industry’s best interests to lobby congress to pass legislation making all non-gmo forms of cannabis illegal.

•We need to identify a chemical or two that, alone is/are completely harmless, while when combined with THC makes one completely nauseated

     If such chemical(s) is/are discovered, it/they need(s) to be as ubiquitous as corn syrup; completely infiltrating the food supply, and agricultural infrastructure.

     Moreover, any FDA data comfirming its effects when combined with marijuana need to be completely dismissed, or otherwise down-played beyond public concern.

•Tax the hell out of it

Once you have completed all of the previous steps, in a few years, once all has been accepted into the equillibrium, begin making it cost prohibitive by enforcing a minor tax, as is enforced with tabacco products — every few years increasing the tax just a little more.

The Greatest Lie Ever Told

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I’m going to tell you

The biggest lie

The greatest that

Was ever told

Upon hearing this

You will all deny

That such events

Should ever unfold

 

A master of Architect

And one of elaborate design

None should ever detect

That this world of yours

Is truly mine

 

From the first day

When man opened his eyes

I was there

In beastly disguise

From the dawn of innovation

I was her inspiration

From the advent

Of human violence

I was watching

In patient silence

 

A stream of destiny

Constantly flowing

And I am the one who carved its path

As her thirst

For knowledge and power

Kept on growing

I was the one they summoned

To aide in his wrath

 

Kingdoms rise

And kingdoms fall

And I would have made

A mockery of it all

 

Don’t believe me?

Take young David, for example:

 

I took the weakest boy

And pitted him against giants

They dismissed

This pathetic decoy

But I encouraged

His defiance

He would later take

His place as king

And forge a great alliance

And little did

Anyone know

That from the very beginning

I was always

Pulling his string

 

Thousands of years later

Nothing has really changed

The feeble still surrender to

The ambitiously deranged

 

The tools are sharper

And the towers taller

Meanwhile the world’s getting

Increasingly smaller

 

And so I have woven

This elaborate net

Making it easier

For the world to connect

While the wealthiest of empires

Plunge further into debt

And former allies

Begin to defect

Still this scheme of mine

Is not quite ready, yet

 

But the day is coming

And you won’t see it

When I reveal

My biggest secret

I would call him

My pride and joy

But this filthy creature

I can’t wait to destroy

 

And when that shell opens

I will sneak in

And the new world order

Will thus begin

And life as you knew it

Will never have been

While you all drift further

Into a world of sin

 

Led without staff

And ruled without rod

In your own image

You will witness your God

 

Virtue overcome by vice

Some would call it Hell

Others, “being Americanised”

But I like to call it paradise

And yes, all are welcome

To purchase this franchise

 

For as it was in the beginning

It is now

And ever it shall be

World without end

Amen

 

Yours Truly,

  

-Satan

The Quest For More Blood

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My body had a revolution

And soon I will be dead

It started in the heart

And moved up to my head

 

A cancer it was

Greedy and contagious

Even though, in the end

 

It was not truly advantageous

 

But the heart was in awe

For all the blood that it saw

And wanted to keep

Just a little bit more

 

So it typed up a statement

In a bold typeface

Taking up the whole sheet of paper

Not leaving any space:

 

In light of this surplus

Of blood passing through

Here is an invoice

With a greater amount due

But please, do not worry

These changes won’t really affect you

 

The body, of course

Was taken by surprise

And  feared for its

Inevitable demise

Yet the heart replied

With a compelling argument

And arranged for an unprecedented compromise

It would grow to about

Ten times its size

 

And it grew and it swallowed

All of the neighboring tissues

Yet none had time to protest

This misuse

 

So you see it started at the core

And it spread from the chest

Down to the floor

Up to the top of the head

Always wanting more

 

Every cell for itself

No time for the whole

Forgetting who started this

Or how this got out of control

 

Competition, thus

It had inspired

And in meanwhile, every cell

Was overworked

And tired

 

But after some time

They had had enough

And began to employ

Those most rugged and tough

 

One by one

Their numbers grew

Poised for the order

To execute this coup

 

‘Til finally

The word was spoken

And all out war

In this body had broken

 

And now I’m dying

Of a heart attacked

And if I only knew who was responsible

I’d surely have him sacked

 

But as I have no true recourse

I suppose, this body

I must divorce

 

Goodbye dear body

Once selfless and strong

I pray others don’t follow

Where you went wrong