Who I am, What I believe


(If you find any typos, errors, or whatever, please leave them in the comments and I will try to correct them later?)


I will make this brief. I am Jadis Illiana Argiope (aka TSVandenberg), a mid-twenties, male-to-female transsexual who works at a Waffle House; occasionally does webcamming; and who is desperately looking for an opportunity to get back into the world of Adult Entertainment. Namely porn. That said, this is more or less what I do, and not so much who I really am.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I am a little bit more liberal with my beliefs, and just hearing the words conservatism, Republican, and Tea Party simply leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It’s vomit flavoured. But the fact is, I do truly view myself as something of a patriot.

After all. I believe in:

  1. The freedom of speech
  2. The right to bear arms
  3. Equal rights — and that means gay marriage too, my friend
  4. Teaching safe sex in schools above abstinence
  5. The practice of separation of Church and State
  6. Affordable, govement-backed healthcare
  7. Free college for those who will work for it
  8. And taxing the top one or two-percent — whichever owns the majority of our nations wealth yet has been given break after break after break, thus placing the burden on the ever declining middle class.

Now I’m not an unreasonable girl. I just think that one or two, or twelve things needs to be overhauled if we are ever to witness any real change within this generation. And that means letting go of the past and looking ahead into our future. I know. You’ve heard that before. But hear me out.

Right now it’s like this:

We, the American People, have been spun around, and spun around, and spun around and around for so long, we can barely stand up, or tell up from down. And we are promised that if we can just focus, and use our senses, try listening even to those others around us, that maybe, just maybe we can find our way to the pinata and there will be the promised candy at the end. And we all like candy, right? But like I said, we’ve been spun around for so long, we can’t even get our bearings. So what do we do? Do we listen to those shouting at us, cheering us on, even as we head in the wrong direction, or do we grow up, pull off the blindfold and leave the party? After all, aren’t you already tired of playing these games? They’re making you sick. They’re making me sick. And how can we even trust that there really is any candy? All that we know is that it there is an ugly, menacing looking papier-mache doll staring us down, possibly smirking, snickering each and every inch we veer off course, and we’re too afraid to confront it with our eyes open.

And why do we even play this game at any rate? In the end, all of us are just gonna share the candy anyway. It’s not my party. Is it yours? Regardless, someone’s having a party, and yet they send one volunteer after another to tackle the great and mighty candy-bearing pinata. Why not work on this together? As a team? And no, the shouting doesn’t help. In fact, more often than not, it leads us off in the wrong direction. So take off the blindfold or mask or whatever obscures your vision and look up, and out. There is a party full of kids just like yourself. Why can’t we band together and defeat this thing, no matter how powerful or intimidating its eyes staring down upon us can be?

Oh, but it’s too high! Teamwork. Nothing is too high. Either throw something at it, or get a bigger stick. The point is, it’s time to stop relying on just one individual to do the work for you. And it’s time to stop listening to others blindly. We need all of our senses to make rational and informed judgements. So why are we still playing by the old rules?

As it is, we were promised change. And that change hasn’t come. Healthcare has been shot down, our schools are still focusing on tests instead of retention and participation, unemployment is still high, meanwhile those of us who have a job average two or more just to get by. What happened to this nation? No, it didn’t crash the minute Barack Obama became President. And no, he President Bush didn’t secure the downfall of our nation during his eight years in office, either. It was a collective effort. And through no fault of any one President.

You see, the American People has it all wrong. The President has no real power. We just think he does. Hell, even he thinks he does until the day he takes his seat in the oval office. For you see, the truth of the matter is, when it comes to his presidency, when it comes to Washington — Hell, American politics in general! — it’s all tit for tat. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. You pass my bills, I’ll make you look good. Except that, as time goes on, and the ambitious politician moves up the political food chain, he or she realises that just to look like even a half-way decent politician, it takes more and more compromises each and every step of the way. That is to say, the risks are higher, but the returns are smaller. So then, why do it? Why go this far if the more you give, the more you have to give? Three words, “Delusion,” “Ego,” and just plain “Greed.”

Those who are delusional are those who have the naive concept running in their minds that, if they could just continue to play the game long enough, and make it to the top, maybe then they can forsake these horrible integrity-compromising ways! Maybe, just maybe they can be the boss and take over the helm. forsaking the masters who brought them here. Only to find that their masters don’t look to kindly upon betrayal. And oh, how magnificent is the extent of their power! So overwhelming that even a congress full of their own party won’t gain them the votes they need to honour even just one of their own campaign promises!

And then there are those whose motives are purely out of Ego, and their lust for power. They will do anything just to be in this position, as it has always been most coveted by every businessman. After all, when you were little, didn’t you used to hear stories about princes and princesses? And didn’t you always promise yourself that your rule would always be right and just? Naturally, to have that concept you would have had to have possessed your very own ideals. “My People would always have candy!” “No bunnies would ever starve!” And later, as you grew older, my nation would prohibit discrimination” and “no man willing to work would ever go hungry!” Over time your ideals would be shaped and redefined a hundred times over. And such is the same with this particular kind of president. A nation ruled, not lead. A nation under their thumb. A nation that would leave an impression for them. No longer for the good of the country, but for the sake of history. A history that spoke well of them. A history that made a monument in their honour. And thus, this has proven to be just as useful a puppet as he who ran off of Delusion.

And now, at last we come to he who eats, drinks, talks, and lives money, wealth, and power. This man is nothing like the first two, for his motives are strictly profit seeking. This man, he is a businessman, and he bows only to the almighty dollar; though a check might do every now and then, if he’s sure it will clear with his bank. For you see, this man is WALLSTREET. He is NASDAQ. He is FORBES, FORTUNE 500, and every other business name. Hell, unlike all of the other Nascar Presidents in the past, he actually has his own business logo sown onto to his suit! And this man is the most dangerous of them all! For you see, he’s not just a puppet. He’s also a puppeteer. Yes, he’s got other’s pulling his strings, but he helped the carpenter tie them on. And in the meanwhile, he’s pulling been pulling strings of his own with other politicians for years! And that’s just the problem. Fraternisation, with subordinates, the proverbial supervisors shacking up with their personnel, offering them promotions in exchange for sexual favours has gone on for far too long. And anyone can see that this kind of relationship is completely unfair and unethical. But then, it’s legal now, isn’t it? So somehow it’s okay. It’s not.

So where does that leave us? It leaves us with a variety of greedy, delusional, egotistical men and women who simply haven’t had their head in the game all this time; or actually have, but have rigged it so that in the end, only a select few can enjoy the sweets while everyone’s back is turned. Meanwhile, we’re all running around like a chicken with its head cut-off playing our part, being naive little children, following rules made up by fools and bastards, motivated by our own primal instincts to win that title of pinata smasher. Greed, delusion, ego being the predominant feelings that motivate us at the moment. At least, those of us who have manifested the courage to give it a try. The majority of us simply being spectators, hoping that at some point, maybe someone will crack that baby open and maybe, just maybe they’ll share the candy with us too!


So where do we go from here? Am I just going to leave it at that? Yes, I’ve had my say, and I’ve said it:

We as a nation, are pretty much fucked! And if we don’t do something about it. Something radical. Something involving breaking, bending, or even finding out what the rules really say, we’ll never truly get the prize. Hell, for all we know, the prize doesn’t exist. Spinning around, all loopy, queasy, disoriented, it’s about time we went home. And no, home is not back that way, but ahead of us. Enough with going in circles already. Let’s just go now, possibly vomit a little, just to get it out of our system, and try again tomorrow. The party will still be here. Same kids, same pinata. Nobody ever really wins, (or, at least, that we’ve ever seen) anyhow. And who knows, maybe we can invite a friend? Anything’s gotta be better than this.

Maybe tomorrow when we come back we can play a different game? Monopoly anyone? How about Risk? Battleship even? Well, that’s all I have for now. Catch ya later, kiddos!


-Jadis Illiana Argiope

About ☤ T.S. Vandenberg

I am nothing if not my mind. My words are a reflection of my mind. Within them, I am eternal. Without them, I am lost eternally. As you continue to read, a convergence of minds begins to takes place. My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts. Within you, I may linger. Without you, I am exhibited.

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